Last week on Friday I went to  check on my friend Moreen, she had recently given birth to a baby boy. As it is always tradition you can’t visit a baby empty handed, can you? I was so happy seeing her with her baby Scofield Carlton, what a handsome boy! “You have added so much weight, but you still look pretty,” I told her with a lot of excitement. She became all gloomy and frustrated, well, I did not realize my mistake until later on when I learned that some compliments are to be avoided especially to women who are just from having their babies.  

Comments on their weight, size or shape

After birth, a lot of body changes occur in most women. Carrying a baby makes the belly bulge so much compared to the way it was before they conceived. We should not tell them such comments directly. It lowers their self-esteem so much and it is advisable to avoid comments such as; your breasts have become so big, or your legs are swollen. Of course, their breast enlarges due to breastfeeding you do not need to remind them that. Let them try having a moment of motherhood.

When to hit the gym

“When will you start hitting the gym”? This is a commonly asked question with no bad intentions. After birth, a woman is so fatigued, and all they need first is to relax before thinking about the shape of their bodies, but when we tell them that it makes them feel so uncomfortable, and they feel they have changed so much.

Questioning her motherhood skills

Sometimes when you see a one-week-old baby, you become so curious, and you start asking the mother “How do you manage to take care of your baby,” just avoid such a question.

Motherhood is just another difficult task especially when it’s the first baby it comes with lots of frustrations before getting used to waking up in the middle of the night, breastfeeding and all sorts of responsibilities. Motherhood is a natural thing it does not need classes just a few tips. There is no point in asking a mother how she takes care of her baby.

Unnecessary Flashbacks

After giving birth do not take her back unless she wants to do that willingly “How was it while you were pregnant until now?”, Let her guide you through her pregnancy journey when she feels like sharing it because sometimes the journey was so stressful such that they do not want to remember it. When you ask such a question, the memories come afresh.

Insensitive Criticism

No one should ever be told insensitive things; it can be especially hurtful after birth especially so if you’re criticizing her choices, things that are out of her control, or her body. It takes a period before the body reforms to normalcy.

We should somewhat understand them and offer physical, moral and emotional support.

Thank you for reading! And share your thoughts on the comment section !

Credit : Kandi Mchemi

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