For most parents, having the sex talk with your child is one of the most nerve-racking events in life. There are words that are difficult to pronounce, for example condoms, pregnancy or even ejaculation. This can be difficult and stressing. The best part is that when you have the talk, it will save you a lot of agony by ensuring that your child has tips on how to survive on their own. Honestly, you will not be there as your child makes every single important decision of their life, and thus equipping them with the necessary tools is essential.

  1. Inform your child about it before hand.

To enable your child to have mental preparedness for this kind of talk, it is imperative for you to give them a heads up, that you have an important discussion with them. This gives them time to have questions lined up for you to answer. Also, they will be prepared to have the correct mindset to keep away shyness and any difficulty in opening up.

  1. Keep your purpose clear

We must be aware that the information that we are giving the child might be dangerous to them. This is because we might pique their curiosity into experimenting with the newly found details. So, it is important to inform your child that what you are telling them is for their own enlightenment and safety. They should be able to understand the importance of the session so that they can be objective with how they act on the details.

  1. Use the correct anatomical parts with your child.

We find it free to call an ankle its correct term, but we find it impossible to call the genitals their correct terms. The other names that are used at home are good with young children, but with the older ones, call a spade, a spade. They will be empowered with knowledge, will feel trusted with the information and thus will be more responsible when it comes to their bodies.

  1. Be prepared, before hand.

This talk might be scary for many who are not very close to their children, or for parents who are generally shy. With this, take some time to practice in advance. Use the bathroom mirror and go through some interesting phrases that you think might be difficult to articulate as your child looks into your eyes.

  1. Divide the session into parts.

Trust me; you do not have to break your back handling the talk in one session. Feel free to divide it into many chunks.  You could handle the different topics separately, on different days. Spread them out to your own comfort. In addition to that, you can share the different topics with your spouse and handle them either together or separately.

  1. Share your own teenage experiences

Sharing your teenage experiences, gives them the confidence that whatever they are going through is totally human and normal. They will also trust you more as you have been through the same struggle. To them, you will also seem more relatable as you have experienced the same. It gives them the security to ask more questions.

  1. Be prepared to answer questions.

Interestingly, the children have a lot more information than what we think they already know. They have been researching on their own; we have magazines lying all around the house. They might have grabbed one and read a lot more than we think they know. Also, with the increased access to internet resources, the children might have seen something on the web. More to that, they might have discussed some of these things from their friends in school. So, they also have a chunk of questions that they would like to ask you, to mostly clarify the details that they have. Answer the questions honestly to enable the child to want to ask more, and learn more. Do not judge them, they are also as curious as we were too!

I hope this has been helpful and interesting to read. Kindly let me know of some other tips that you have when it comes to having the sex talk with your child.

Lots of love,

Ruguru Kimani.