Fights and arguments are things that we choose to sweep under the carpet in most households. As parents, we brew our mega disagreements in private, and then bring our resentment towards each other at the table.  Do you know how much our silent treatment towards each other negatively affects our children? Here are a few reasons why we should let our children see us incensed once in a while:

  • They get to understand the dynamics of an argument. They will have a baseline of what would annoy other people. Consequently, they will avoid it at all costs. It gives them a general understanding of how people react to various issues around them. Children grade the intensity of situations according to their parent’s standards.
  • They learn how to resolve misunderstandings amicably. It means that you should come up with a rational solution in their presence. The next time they have a fight with their classmates, they will not rush to throw fists at them. They will do as you do at home: talk it out.
  • You inculcate discipline in your children. They learn that people refrain from any form of cursing, violence, and derogatory statements while resolving conflicts. Consequently, they get to understand that relationships matter a lot, and not even in the heat of an argument should one say something hurtful that might change things forever.

As children grow up, they tend to seek validation from their peers. At times, they imagine that perfection is never getting annoyed by one- not even having an argument. If they get to learn that it is okay to be imperfect right from their homes, they will not try to seek perfection to a level of infinity.

As we talk about the fights and arguments, I would like to make it clear that we should veer off violence and never turn each other into punching bags. Let us have healthy disagreements that leave our relationships as intact as ever; if not better.

Please leave a comment below and let me know what you think.

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Lots of love,

Ruguru Kimani.